A Christmas Blessing Read online

  So, Luke thought dully, there it was, out in the open. Spelled out in his father’s words, it sounded sordid, and his love for Jessie was anything but.

  “I love her,” he declared defiantly, meeting his father’s gaze evenly. “And she loves me.”

  Harlan sighed deeply, but there was little shock in his eyes. Instead, his gaze hinted of sorrow and anger. “I was afraid of this,” he said.

  “There’s nothing to be afraid of. We’re just two people who fell in love. You could be happy for us.”

  “She’s your brother’s widow, dammit!”

  Luke bit back an expletive of his own. “Erik is dead, Dad. Denying our feelings won’t bring him back.”

  The quietly spoken remarks did nothing to soothe Harlan’s temper. “How far has it gone?”

  “Not far. She just had a baby.”

  His father scowled at him. “I meant before.”

  Luke felt a rough, fierce anger clawing at his stomach. How readily his father was willing to condemn him for a sin he hadn’t committed. He supposed that was the price he had to pay for declaring his independence. Despite Jessie’s analysis last night, he knew that Harlan would never totally trust him because of that.

  “There was nothing between us when Erik was alive,” he declared quietly. “Nothing!”

  “Who the hell are you trying to kid, son? I saw the way the two of you looked at each other. I knew in my gut that was what drove you away, what drove both of you away. You were running from feelings you knew weren’t right.”

  He stared hard at Luke. “Whose baby is it?” he demanded. “Erik’s or yours?”

  For the first time in his life, Luke honestly thought he could have slammed a fist into his father’s face and enjoyed it.

  “How dare you?” he said, his tone lethal. “Neither Jessie nor I ever did anything to deserve a question like that. It doesn’t say a hell of a lot about your opinion of Erik, either. Whether you choose to believe it or not, he and Jessie had a good marriage. She’s not the kind of woman to turn her back on her vows. And I would have rotted in hell before I would have done anything, anything at all to take that away from him.”

  “Instead, you took away his life.”

  The cold, flatly spoken words slammed into Luke as forcefully as a sledgehammer. Though he had blamed himself too damned many times in the middle of the night for not doing more to save Erik, the doctors had reassured him over and over that his brother had been beyond help. Hearing the accusation leveled by his father, the same man who’d absolved him from guilt only a day or two before, made him sick to his stomach.

  He refused to dignify the accusation with a response. Instead, he simply stood and headed for the door. “I’ll be gone before Mother gets down.” He glanced back only once, long enough to say, “If Jessie so chooses, she and your granddaughter will be going with me. You can put us all out of your head forever.”

  “Lucas!” his father called after him. “Dammit, son, get back here!”

  Luke heard the command, but refused to acknowledge it. He could not, he would not submit to more of his father’s disgusting accusations. Nor would he allow Jessie to be put through the same ordeal.

  He had known this was the reaction they would face. It was one reason he had fought his feelings so relentlessly. It was why he’d struggled against Jessie’s feelings as well, but no more. Those feelings were out in the open now and the fallout had begun. That didn’t mean he had to linger at White Pines until his parents poisoned the happiness he and Jessie were on the threshold of discovering.

  He was still trembling with rage when he slammed the door to Jessie’s suite behind him.

  Visibly startled by his entrance and by his obviously nasty temper, Jessie motioned him to silence. “I’ve just gotten the baby back to sleep,” she whispered as she led him into the bedroom. “What on earth’s wrong?”

  “Pack your bags,” he ordered at once. His plan to give her an option in the matter had died somewhere between the dining room and the top of the stairs. He intended to claim what was his and protect them from the righteous indignation they would face if they remained here.

  “Why?”

  “We’re going to my ranch.”

  To her credit Jessie held her ground. “Why?” she repeated, her voice more gentle. Worry shadowed her eyes.

  Luke muttered an oath under his breath and began to pace.

  “Lucas, sit down before you wear a hole in the carpet. Besides you’re making me dizzy trying to follow you.”

  “I can’t sit. I’m too angry.”

  “It’s barely seven o’clock in the morning. What could possibly have set you off this early in the day?”

  “I just came from having a little chat with Dad. Apparently he saw me leaving your room last night and jumped to all the worst conclusions.”

  “Meaning?”

  He frowned at her. “He assumes you and I are having an affair.”

  “Luke, if it weren’t for certain circumstances, we would be,” she said pointedly.

  “He assumes it has been going on for some time.” When she showed no evident reaction to that, he added, “He wonders if perhaps Angela is mine.”

  Jessie’s eyes widened. Her mouth gaped with indignation. Patches of color flared in her cheeks. She flew out of the rocker and headed for the door.

  Luke stared after her. “Where the devil are you going?”

  “To have a few words with your father. I will not allow him to insult Erik’s memory, to insult all of us with such a disgusting allegation.”

  Luke caught her elbow and hauled her back into the room. “It won’t help. He’s in a rage. He won’t listen.”

  “Oh, he’ll hear me,” she insisted in a low tone. “Let me go, Luke.”

  “Not until you calm down.” After a moment, she stopped struggling. Her utter stillness was almost worse. “I’m sorry, Jessie. I knew this was the way he would take it. God knows what Mother will have to say when she finds out. She’ll probably insist on going into seclusion from the shame of it all. I think the thing to do is get away until they’ve had a chance to settle down and digest the news. Maybe then we can have a conversation that won’t deteriorate into a lot of ugly name calling.”

  Jessie’s chin tilted stubbornly. “I won’t leave. Not like this.”

  “There’s no choice. You have no idea what it’s going to be like around here in a few hours. I won’t let you go through that.”

  “I’m not leaving,” Jessie repeated adamantly. “I thought Angela would bring this family back together. It seemed to me just yesterday that you and your father were putting past differences behind you. I can’t allow our feelings to ruin your chances for a reconciliation.”

  Luke stared at her incredulously. “Jessie, what the hell is going on here? You fought like crazy to get me to acknowledge my feelings for you. Finally, just last night, we agreed to stop fighting how we feel and try to build a future. Now you’re willing to put that at risk so my father and I can get along? I don’t get it. Where are your priorities?”

  “Where they’ve always been,” she said quietly. “With family. Nothing’s more important, Luke. Nothing.”

  He took a step back and studied her as if she were an alien creature. He didn’t understand how he had gotten it so wrong. She was still the woman he loved, all right. Her hair was tousled and just begging for him to run his fingers through it. Her cheeks were rosy, her eyes glinting with determination. She was the most incredible mix of soft curves and fierce convictions he’d ever met.

  Right now, though, it seemed to him their dilemma came down to a choice between family and him. If he understood her correctly, she was choosing his family.

  Raking his fingers through his hair in a gesture of pure frustration, he shook his head. “So that’s it, then? After all this, you’re choosing them over me.”

  He had to admit that Jessie looked shocked by his assessment.

  “That isn’t what I’m saying at all,” she protested. “I
’m saying we need to stay here and work it out.”

  “Not me,” Luke said stubbornly. “You can make peace with the devil, if that’s what you want, but I’ll be damned if I’ll hang around with people who think so little of you and of me. Frankly, I’d think you’d have more pride, too.”

  With one last look in her direction, he turned and stalked from the room. Just as he had with his father earlier, he ignored her plea for him to return. As far as he could tell, there was nothing more to be said.

  Only after he had his bag packed and was outside did he allow himself to stop for an instant and think about what was happening. When he did, this great empty space seemed to open up inside him.

  They had been so close. He had actually begun to believe that dreams could come true. In the end, though, Jessie’s love hadn’t been as strong as he’d thought.

  He threw his bag onto the passenger seat of one of his father’s pickups and dug the keys out from under the mat. He’d hire someone to drive it back from his ranch tomorrow. He sure as hell wasn’t about to ask Harlan to have the pilot fly him home.

  Besides, the long, tedious drive would do him good. He’d have time enough to figure out how he was going to survive not having Jessie and Angela in his life.

  He was just about to turn onto the driveway, when a bright red pickup skidded to a halt behind him, blocking his way. Cody leapt from the truck before the engine quieted.

  “Luke, what the hell are you doing?” his youngest brother demanded.

  “What does it look like? I’m stealing one of Daddy’s trucks and going home.”

  “Without Jessie?” Cody inquired softly.

  Luke stilled and stared at his brother. “What do you know about Jessie and me?”

  Cody rolled his eyes. “Hell, Luke, anyone who isn’t blind could see how the two of you feel about each other. Don’t abandon her now.”

  “You’ve got it backward. She made the decision to stay.”

  “You’re the one in the truck, about to head down the driveway,” Cody contradicted. “That constitutes abandonment in my book. I thought you had more guts.”

  A dull throbbing was beginning at the base of Luke’s skull. “Whatever you have to say, Cody, spit it out. I want to get on the road.”

  His brother shot him a commiserating look. “I talked to Jessie a little bit ago. She wasn’t making a lot of sense, but I got the gist of it. I know what Daddy said. It was a lousy thing to say. There’s no getting around that.”

  “So you can see why all I want to do is get the hell away from here.”

  “Sure can,” Cody agreed.

  Luke was startled by the unexpected agreement. He studied Cody suspiciously.

  “Of course, Jessie also told me a story. She said you’d remembered how Daddy taught us to be strong, how he made us fight for the things we wanted in life. She told me some cockamamy theory that he deliberately puts roadblocks in our paths just so we have to scramble over them. It’s his way of finding out how badly we want something.”

  Luke closed his eyes. He recalled the exact conversation all too vividly.

  “Isn’t Jessie worth fighting for?” Cody asked softly. “Seems to me like she is.”

  His brother’s words reached him as nothing else had. Cody was right. He was running away from the most important fight of his life. Luke sighed and cut the pickup’s engine.

  “When did you grow up and get so damned smart?” he asked as he climbed from the truck and snagged his brother in a hug.

  “Not me,” Cody denied. “It was Jessie. She gave me all the arguments I’d need.”

  “She could have tried them on me herself.”

  Cody grinned. “She said you were too mad at her to listen. She figured since I was neutral, I might have a shot at getting through that thick skull of yours.”

  “Daddy’s never going to approve of me being with Jessie,” Luke said. “Mother’s going to go ballistic.”

  “Ought to make life around here downright interesting,” Cody said. “Maybe I’ll move back to the main house just to watch the fireworks. Jordan will probably want to come home, too.”

  “Only if you both intend to stand beside me on this,” Luke warned.

  A crooked grin on his face, Cody held up his hand for a high-five. “That’s what brothers are for.”

  Luke realized that was something he was finally beginning to understand, thanks to Jessie. It killed him to admit it, but it just might be that she was a hell of a lot smarter than he was when it came to matters of family and the heart.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Her hands clutched tightly together, Jessie stood at the window of her room and watched Luke and Cody’s sometimes heated exchange below. When Luke finally shut off the truck’s engine and emerged, a sigh of relief washed through her. She had been so afraid that the desperate call she’d made to Cody had been too late. She’d also known he might be her only chance to make Luke see reason.

  She knew from her own conversation with Cody on Christmas that he had given her relationship with Luke his blessing. It had been her first hint that not every member of the Adams clan would be opposed to the feelings she and Luke shared.

  This morning she had sensed that even more than Cody’s ability to stand up to Luke, what was needed was someone who wouldn’t be passing judgment on the original cause of the disagreement between father and son.

  As she watched Cody and Luke enter the house, she prayed that all of Cody’s skills at persuasion wouldn’t be wasted the instant Luke ran into his father.

  Drawing in a deep breath, she decided that this was not a battle Luke should have to take on alone. It was their fight. Plucking Angela from her crib, Jessie emerged from her suite and started downstairs.

  Halfway down she realized Luke was waiting at the bottom of the steps, his gaze fixed on her. Her pulse skittered wildly as she tried to anticipate what he would say to her. Beside him, Cody shot her a wink and an irrepressible grin.

  “I think I’ll join Daddy for some coffee,” Cody said. “I want a front row seat for the next act.”

  Jessie smiled at him. “Thanks for coming so quickly.”

  “No problem. Nothing like tangling with big brother here to get my adrenaline jump started in the morning. Can’t wait to get to Daddy now. I might even try to persuade him to let me buy that new tractor I’ve been wanting.”

  After he’d gone, Luke finally spoke. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have run out and left you to deal with Daddy.” The apology seemed to have been formed at some cost. He was watching her uneasily.

  Jessie reached out and touched his cheek. “You thought I’d chosen them over you, when nothing could be further from the truth. I chose us, Lucas. We can’t have a future if we don’t settle this with everyone now. It will eat away at us, until we’re destroyed. Hiding away on your ranch is no solution, and in your heart, I think you know that.”

  His lips curved in what might have been the beginning of a smile. “You play dirty, though, Jessica. Threw my own words back in my face.”

  “No, I didn’t.” She grinned unrepentantly. “I had Cody do it. If I could have gotten him here fast enough, I would have had Jordan add his two cents.”

  He cupped her face in his hands. “You are worth fighting for, Jessie. Never doubt that. The way I felt when I climbed into that truck, the empty space inside me where my heart had been, I hope to God I never feel that way again.”

  “You won’t,” she whispered. “I promise.”

  Angela stirred in her arms just then. Luke glanced at the baby and his expression softened. “Come here, sweet pea,” he said and claimed her.

  A look of resolve came over his face as he clasped Jessie’s hand. “Shall we go face the enemy on his own turf?”

  She halted in her tracks, forcing him to a stop. “We won’t get anywhere, if you keep thinking of your father as the enemy.”

  “How else should I be thinking of him? He’s standing square between me and the woman I love.”r />
  The declaration made her smile. “Try thinking of him as a father who’s defending the honor of his son who died.”

  Luke sighed heavily. “In too many ways that makes it all the harder, darlin’. It’s almost impossible to fight a ghost.”

  Jessie said nothing, just squeezed his hand. She thought she knew how to disarm Harlan Adams, though. And when the time came, she would use Erik’s own words to do it.

  * * *

  With Angela in his arms and Jessie at his side, Luke felt his strength and courage returning. He felt whole again. That gave him the resolve he needed to walk back into that dining room and face his father.

  His lips twisted into a grim smile as he overheard Cody and Harlan arguing over the need for a new tractor. Cody was cheerfully enumerating a list of reasons to counteract every one of Harlan’s opposing arguments. Their words died the instant Harlan spotted Luke and Jessie in the doorway.

  “Cody, go and take care of that matter we were discussing,” his father ordered brusquely.

  For an instant, Cody looked confused. “I can buy the tractor?”

  His father shrugged. “Might as well let you do it now, before you drive me crazy.”

  The tiny victory gave Luke hope. He could see once again that sometimes all Harlan really wanted was a good fight. He wanted to be convinced that a decision was right. If his sons couldn’t make a strong enough case, they lost. It might have been pure contrariness, but he sensed that it really was his father’s way of seeing that they learned to fight for what they believed in. Maybe underneath that tough exterior, his father really did want only what was best for his sons.

  Luke made up his mind then and there that his case for claiming Jessie and Angela as his own would be a powerful one.

  “Thought you’d taken off,” Harlan said, his tone cool.

  His avid gaze carefully avoided Luke and settled on his granddaughter. Luke watched him struggling with himself, fighting his obvious desire to stake his claim on the baby he believed Luke had no right to.

  Luke kept his voice steady. “I decided running wouldn’t solve this problem.”

  “Did you reach this decision all on your own, or did Jessie’s refusal to go force you into it?”