The Calamity Janes Read online

  “He wouldn’t have shot me. Donny loved me.”

  “No, dammit, he didn’t. If he’d loved you, he could never have treated you the way he did. Never.” She took Sue Ellen’s hands and held them tightly. “I want you to believe that. What Donny felt for you was the opposite of love. He needed to control you, to possess you. That is not love.”

  Sue Ellen continued to weep quietly. As Ryan had done moments before, Emma tucked a finger under her chin and made Sue Ellen face her. “I want to have a counselor come in to talk to you. You need help to understand that what Donny did to you was wrong. You’re a wonderful person, Sue Ellen. I see it. Ryan sees it. So do most of the people in Winding River. It’s time you see it, as well. Will you talk to someone?”

  For an instant there was a rare flicker of hope in Sue Ellen’s eyes. She nodded.

  “Good. I’ll make the arrangements,” Emma promised. “In the meantime, I’m going to give you my number in Denver. If you need me, morning or night, just call. Ryan will facilitate it. I’ll be back in a couple of weeks or sooner, if anything comes up.”

  Sue Ellen clung to her hand. “But you will be back?”

  “Absolutely. We’re in this together, and I won’t let you down. I promise.”

  “I don’t know why you’re doing this for me, Emma, but I’m grateful.”

  “I’m doing it because you’re a good person.” Emma patted her hand, then left the cell. She stood for a minute outside the door. “I won’t rest until you believe that.”

  “Thank you,” Sue Ellen whispered, curling once again into a fetal position on the cot that was the only furniture in the cell.

  Emma felt sick inside at the thought of leaving her there, but until the trial, there was nothing she could do for Sue Ellen. She went to Ryan’s office and knocked, then walked in.

  “Keep an eye on her, will you?” she said. “I’m worried about how depressed she is.”

  He nodded grimly. “I know. I’m spending as much time with her as I can.”

  “She’s agreed to let me send in a psychologist. I’ll make the arrangements before I leave tomorrow.”

  “You’re going back to Denver? I thought…”

  “I can’t stay here indefinitely, Ryan. I’ll be back as often as I can be.”

  “What about Ford?”

  She frowned at him. “Ford is not an issue.”

  “Oh, really?” he said, grinning. “You could have fooled me.”

  “I’d rather talk about your feelings for Sue Ellen,” she countered.

  His grin faded. “I never denied caring about her,” he said, instantly on the defensive.

  “I know that. I just want you to understand what you’re in for. It’s going to take a long time before she can trust another man. She may never be able to.”

  Ryan sighed. “In my gut, I guess I know that. I have to try, though. I’ve spent my whole life caring about her. I can’t stop now.”

  Emma smiled at him. “I was hoping you’d say that. Despite everything that’s happened, Sue Ellen’s a lucky woman. You’re one of those rare good guys, Ryan.”

  “I just hope that one of these days she’ll see it that way,” he said, his expression sad.

  “If anybody can help her get there, you can,” she said with conviction. “Just be patient.”

  “I’ve waited all these years. A few more won’t matter.”

  She walked over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You’re a wonderful man, Ryan Taylor.”

  He caught her hand when she would have walked away.

  “What?”

  “So is Ford.”

  Emma sighed. “I know that.”

  “Then give him a chance.”

  “Why is it that all my friends and my family think they get a vote in this?”

  “Because we love you.”

  “So you say,” she said. “Right now I could do with a little less love and a little more faith that I know what’s best for me.”

  He grinned. “Sorry, no can do. You’re just going to have to put up with us nudging you.”

  “That is not the way to get me to spend more time here,” she pointed out.

  “Because you’re stubborn.”

  “Probably,” she conceded.

  “Just one thing, Emma darlin’. I’ve known you for most of your life. I know how much pride you have, so a word of caution—don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.”

  Much as she hated to admit it, that was probably good advice.

  Chapter 12

  “Emma’s leaving for Denver in the morning,” Ryan announced casually when he stopped by the paper to see Ford after church on Sunday afternoon.

  Ford’s gaze shot up. “She didn’t say anything to me about that. When did she decide to go?”

  “When was the last time you saw her?” Ryan asked.

  “This morning.”

  “Then I imagine that’s when she decided.”

  Judging from the smirk on Ryan’s face, Ford was definitely missing something. “Meaning?”

  “Our Emma is running scared.”

  “Of me?” Ford asked incredulously, then sighed. “I imagine that’s not as ridiculous as it sounds. I think of her as being tough as nails, but she’s not when it comes to the ‘R’ word, is she?”

  “‘R’ as in relationship?” Ryan asked.

  “Yes.”

  “No, when it comes to that, I think she’s completely out of her element,” Ryan said. “How about you? Do you think about a relationship when you’re with Emma?”

  Truthfully, what Ford thought about was sex, but, yes, the happily-ever-after thought had crossed his mind…and then fled. He did know, however, that he wasn’t anxious for her to leave town.

  Rather than admit that to the protective sheriff, he asked, “Why do you think she’s so gun-shy when it comes to men? Are you sure you don’t know any more about her marriage than what you’ve told me?”

  Ryan’s expression suggested he was well aware that the change of topic had been deliberate. Still, he seemed to consider the question thoughtfully before answering.

  “I don’t know anything more about her marriage, but I think her skittishness goes back even longer than that. Remember I told you that Emma didn’t date a lot back when I knew her? She was too goal oriented. I don’t know what she did in college, but I imagine that didn’t change. Then she married, had a child and divorced, all in pretty short order. That may be the sum total of her experience with men. Since then I have the distinct impression that she’s been totally absorbed by her career, probably by choice.”

  He studied Ford with interest. “So, what are you going to do about her decision to go?”

  “Why should I do anything?”

  Ryan shook his head. “You’re pitiful, both of you. She’s clearly in denial. What about you, Ford? Are you going to start denying that you’re interested, or are you just going to evade my questions altogether?”

  Ford considered it for the sake of his pride, but knew it would be futile. “No. No evasions. I’m definitely interested.” It was a deceptively lukewarm description of the way she managed to tie him in knots.

  “Well, then, what are you going to do?”

  “I honestly don’t know. Any suggestions?”

  “Go after her.”

  “And do what? Stop her from leaving?”

  Ryan laughed. “I don’t think the entire United States Marines could do that. She’s hell-bent on running. I meant go after her in Denver. Stick around for a few days. Show her you’re willing to compromise.”

  “Compromise about what?”

  “The future. The living arrangements. Whatever needs to be compromised on to make it work.”

  Ford shuddered at the suggestion. “Now you’re the one who’s talking crazy. I’m not going to live in Denver. I’ve paid my dues in big cities. I like it here. And I have a paper to run, in case you’ve forgotten.”

  “Does that matter more than being with Emma?”

  “It’
s not a competition. Why do I have to choose?” he demanded. “Is it up to me to choose just because she won’t?”

  “Do you want her or not?”

  “I want her,” Ford admitted, then met Ryan’s gaze evenly. “Maybe just not enough.”

  “Will you ever know for sure if you stick around here and let her get away?”

  “Okay, you have a point,” Ford conceded. “I’ll try to catch her before she goes. At least, I can take another reading on the situation.”

  Ryan regarded him with evident exasperation. “And do what? Talk the subject to death? Emma needs action, something dramatic to catch her attention, something that will tell her you’re putting her first.”

  “And chasing her to Denver will say that?”

  “It’ll be a start,” Ryan insisted. “What you do after you get there will do the rest.”

  Ford had a vision of going to Denver, getting Emma to give their relationship a chance, then discovering that it would all be on her terms and only if he was the one who relocated. “I don’t know,” he said, expressing his reservations aloud. “I came here to uncomplicate my life, not to get into a situation that can’t be resolved without somebody having to give up too much.”

  Ryan shrugged. “Your choice. But take it from a man who’s waited a very long time to grab a shot at what he wants, when the right woman comes along, you shouldn’t waste a minute. You never know what fate has in store just around the corner.”

  It was the closest Ryan had come to making a direct admission of his feelings for Sue Ellen—at least Ford assumed she was the woman he meant. Since he was eager for a change of subject anyway, he decided to pursue it. “You’re talking about you and Sue Ellen?”

  “Yeah, isn’t that a kick in the pants?” Ryan said, his expression rueful. “I have to wait more than ten years till her husband is dead before I get a real chance with her and, because of how he died, it may be too late.”

  Ford was startled by Ryan’s defeatist attitude. “Do you really believe that? I thought you had faith in Emma’s ability to get her off.”

  “I do, but that’s the least of it. The fact is that Sue Ellen’s got a lot of baggage to deal with. There’s no telling if she’ll ever get past it.” His eyes lit with a sad smile. “You should have known her back when we were kids. She was so lovely, so fragile and yet full of life. Donny literally beat that out of her, but once in a while when I look into her eyes I see a glimmer of the woman she used to be. That’s why I keep hanging in there. I want to help her find the old Sue Ellen again.”

  “Careful,” Ford warned. “Be sure you’re not mistaking the knight-in-shining-armor syndrome for something else.”

  “I’m not. I loved her long before she needed rescuing.”

  Ford thought once again about what a fine man Ryan was. “She’s lucky to have you.”

  “That remains to be seen. Meantime, you concentrate on Emma. The man who catches her will be one lucky son of a gun.”

  Ford thought about that all the way out to the Clayton ranch. He’d barely set foot on the porch when Caitlyn came barreling through the front door and skidded to a stop in front of him.

  “I was hoping you were gonna come see me,” she said. “It took a long time.”

  Ford grinned. “I’ve had a few things to do.”

  “I know. Mommy said you publish a newspaper. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds real important.”

  “I don’t know about important, but it takes a lot of time.”

  Caitlyn gave him a shy smile. “Now that you’re here, wanna see my pony? Remember, I told you all about him?”

  “I remember.”

  Emma stepped outside and Ford’s gaze immediately went to her. She was studying him warily.

  “I don’t think Ford has time to pay a visit to your pony, Caitlyn.”

  Since he was pretty sure he heard a challenge in there, he rose to it. “Sure I do,” he said, taking the child’s hand. He returned Emma’s look with a dare of his own. “Want to come along?”

  “Sure,” she said with no hint of reluctance. She followed them down the steps and toward the barn.

  Caitlyn released Ford’s hand and danced along ahead of them. “You could ride my pony sometime,” she offered. “But she might be too little for you.” Her solemn gaze assessed him from head to toe. “You’ve got really, really long legs. She’s just right for me, though. Grandpa says when I’m bigger, he’ll buy me any kind of horse I want. I got one all picked out.”

  “You do?” Emma said, regarding her with surprise.

  “Grandpa took me with him to this other ranch after church this morning, so we could look at all the horses. They had the prettiest horse I ever saw. It was all golden, like a magical horse in a storybook. I can’t have that horse, because it’ll be a long time before I’m growed up,” she explained matter-of-factly. “But Grandpa says he’ll find me one just like it.”

  “Grandpa spoils you.”

  “I know,” Caitlyn said happily. “He loves me.”

  “He does indeed,” Emma said, sounding oddly resigned.

  When Caitlyn had run on ahead, Ford looked at Emma. “Is that a problem?”

  “Only because it means it’s going to upset him when we leave.”

  “I hear you’re going tomorrow. Is that true?”

  She nodded. “Is that what brought you out here? The rumors of my imminent departure?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact. You didn’t mention it when I saw you earlier.”

  “I told you on Friday night that I’d probably leave Monday. I need to get back. I have a trial next week.”

  “Big case?”

  “Not especially. In fact, if I’d had my way, it would never have gone to trial, but the client refused to plea-bargain, so here we are, about to waste a lot of taxpayer dollars on a case we’re likely to lose.”

  Ryan was surprised at her apparent resignation to defeat. “I thought you were supremely confident about your skills as a lawyer?”

  “I am, but I’ll be the first to admit that my heart’s not in this one. If you print that, I’ll deny it, though. I’ll be walking a tightrope in the courtroom, trying to give my client a fair shake without using some technicality to get him off.”

  He regarded her with surprise. “You want to lose?”

  “I want justice,” she corrected. “Unfortunately, there’s no predicting juries. The law may be the law, but they’re the human factor, and there’s no telling whether the facts and the evidence will resonate with them the way I expect them to.”

  “Still, I imagine you’re extremely persuasive when you want to be.”

  She glanced at him sideways. “Why would you believe that? I haven’t been able to persuade you to steer clear of me.”

  “That’s because I’ve got my own issues with being overly confident. I think I can change your mind.”

  She chuckled. “I should probably have set out to be less of a challenge. You would have lost interest by now.”

  His gaze locked with hers. “Somehow I doubt that. We both know there are a whole lot of reasons why this shouldn’t or can’t work, yet I don’t seem to be able to make myself stay away. I figure we’ll just have to play it out.”

  “You sound resigned.”

  “Do I?” He grinned. “Trust me, that’s not how I feel. I can hardly wait.”

  When he leaned forward to touch his lips to hers, he felt the shudder that swept through her. He found that reassuring. It was also what convinced him that Ryan was right. Risky or not, he had to follow her to Denver at the first opportunity.

  But first he’d give her just a little time to start to miss him.

  Emma could hardly wait to get away from Winding River in the morning. Ford kept catching her by surprise, rattling her with those innocent kisses that stole her breath.

  The fact that he hadn’t prodded her for more details about the case she was handling had also been reassuring. She had been less than circumspect in admitting that she wanted t
o lose. In print, those words would have been damning and could have cost her the confidence of all of her clients, if not gotten her disbarred. His failure to ask more probing questions had reassured her that, this time at least, he wouldn’t betray her confidence.

  Beside her in the car, Caitlyn was pouting. She’d barely said a single word since Emma had told her the night before that they were going home.

  Outside the car, her parents were looking on with disappointment written all over their faces.

  “We’ll be back soon,” she promised.

  “I don’t see—” her mother began, but Emma’s father cut her off.

  “Leave it alone. Emma knows what she has to do. She has obligations in Denver,” he said. He leaned through the car window and kissed Caitlyn’s forehead. “Be good for your mommy.”

  “I want to stay with you,” Caitlyn whispered as huge tears rolled down her cheeks.

  “Not this time, baby. You’ll be back soon, though. You heard Mommy promise.” His gaze met Emma’s. “We love you both.”

  Tears welled up in her eyes now. “I know, Dad. I love you.”

  As he stepped away from the car, she put it into gear, backed up, then headed down the driveway, giving one last wave to her parents, who were standing arm in arm, their expressions doleful.

  “I don’t know why we have to go,” Caitlyn said with a sniff.

  “Because Mommy has to go back to work.”

  “I hate Denver,” Caitlyn said vehemently. “And I hate you.”

  Guilt bubbled up inside Emma, but she couldn’t let her daughter’s words deter her from doing what she had to do.

  She sighed and reached over to squeeze Caitlyn’s hand.

  “I know, but I love you. And I always will, no matter what.”

  Caitlyn fell into a fitful sleep after that and didn’t awaken again until they were almost home.

  “Can I have Kelly and Laura Beth over?” she asked the minute they’d walked in the door, instinctively knowing that this was the time to play on Emma’s guilt. “I want to tell them all about my pony and Grandpa’s ranch and the kitten I get to bring home next time we come.”

  The last thing Emma wanted was to have three little girls squealing while she tried to concentrate, but she also knew it would make it easier for Caitlyn to accept being back in Denver.